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Gidnik

U.S. to cut ties with Alabama

36 posts in this topic

WASHINGTON—Stressing the importance of protecting the nation’s global image, consultants from the public relations firm of Hill & Knowlton have advised the United States to begin distancing itself from the state of Alabama as soon as possible, sources confirmed Wednesday.

The marketing team, which reportedly cited results from focus groups and surveys that revealed a widespread perception of the state as misguided, intolerant, and poorly educated, has strongly encouraged U.S. officials to downplay its connections with Alabama and to avoid being seen in any of its cities.

“At this time, we believe it’s in America’s best interests to discontinue its relationship with Alabama,” said Hill & Knowlton senior partner Dylan Feldstone, adding that the United States and Alabama were “heading in two different directions right now.” “Please note that we are not saying there is anything wrong with Alabama. It’s just that as the United States works to maintain and strengthen its worldwide reputation, we believe it is everyone’s best interests if it parts ways with the state.”

“We’re certain the state of Alabama will understand this,” Feldstone continued. “They know how these things work.”

According to high-level sources, the consultants singled out Alabama as a major obstacle to the U.S. efforts to establish an appealing brand, noting that it ranks in the top five among states in obesity, divorce, and poverty rates.

“When people think about the United States, the last image you want in their head is Alabama,” said Feldstone, renowned for helping turn around the reputations of clients such as Nike, Robert Downey Jr., and Myanmar. “There are other states with a lot going for them. Look at Colorado or California. And Utah is beautiful—the world wants to see that. But there’s nothing about Alabama shouting ‘cutting-edge country I want to invest in.’”

Though they clarified that their recommendation was solely a business decision and was not meant to belittle Alabama, the consultants reportedly emphasized that the nation must take steps to suppress every facet of the 22nd state’s ignominious reputation.

“There’s just a lot of baggage with Alabama,” said Feldstone, noting the state’s history of controversy was “not something anyone wants to be associated with.” “Everyone knows about the racial issues. The violence, the intolerance, the whole Birmingham fiasco in 1963. That’s not the image you want to project while you seek new investors.”

At press time, sources indicated that government officials were also considering the PR firm’s recommendation that they slowly phase out Mississippi over the next five years.

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Bama wins again

Since it appears we are next on the hit list this may be a good time to do the if you can't beat them join them thing.

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So, your governor wants to take funding away from something that already is woefully underfunded? Sounds Mississippian enough to me for the twin states to merge and get along just fine.

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If anything, the Southern states need to pour money into education. The biggest reason big business won't relocate here is because they see our people as being too stupid to work technical jobs, and a lot of that comes from our backward educational system.

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If anything, the Southern states need to pour money into education. The biggest reason big business won't relocate here is because they see our people as being too stupid to work technical jobs, and a lot of that comes from our backward educational system.

Which starts with a lottery

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Which starts with a lottery

Been saying this for years.

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Been saying this for years.

In what world is it ok to have 20 casinos but not a lottery

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Do y'all really want an educated bama fan?

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Which starts with a lottery

the arkansas lottery has been a wild success for education.

or, pull a colorado and legalize weed with a 20% tax that goes straight to education. there are many solution for those willing to consider options outside of the box, but thats not necessarily alabama's strong suit.

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Which starts with a lottery

No it doesn't start with a lottery.....I'm all for lotteries, just completely against one funding a function of govt. Read a few years ago after lottery revenue had diminished drastically, that Florida spent over 60% of lottery revenue, in the year this article was written, on advertising the lottery.....when govt is begging the public to gamble to support a function of govt then something is terribly wrong.

When govt creates a lottery to fund education, they don't add that additional new lottery revenue to the current monies already in the education budget, THEY REPLACE THOSE PREVIOUSLY EARMARKED MONIES WITH LOTTERY REVENUE, IT NOW BECOMING THE SOURCE OF EDUCATION MONIES, WITH THE OTHER PREVIOUSLY EAR MARKED MONIES GOING BACK INTO THE GENERAL FUND. In other words, the lottery perpetuates govt malfeasance by throwing fuel on the fire.

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No it doesn't start with a lottery.....I'm all for lotteries, just completely against one funding a function of govt. Read a few years ago after lottery revenue had diminished drastically, that Florida spent over 60% of lottery revenue, in the year this article was written, on advertising the lottery.....when govt is begging the public to gamble to support a function of govt then something is terribly wrong.

When govt creates a lottery to fund education, they don't add that additional new lottery revenue to the current monies already in the education budget, THEY REPLACE THOSE PREVIOUSLY EARMARKED MONIES WITH LOTTERY REVENUE, IT NOW BECOMING THE SOURCE OF EDUCATION MONIES, WITH THE OTHER PREVIOUSLY EAR MARKED MONIES GOING BACK INTO THE GENERAL FUND. In other words, the lottery perpetuates govt malfeasance by throwing fuel on the fire.

I'm confident we'd find some way to lanekiffin.gif it up. Georgia seems to so well with theirs

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If anything, the Southern states need to pour money into education. The biggest reason big business won't relocate here is because they see our people as being too stupid to work technical jobs, and a lot of that comes from our backward educational system.

With your statement, apparently you aren't aware of all the industries leaving other parts of the country and setting up shop in the south because what you said is the exact opposite of the truth

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No it doesn't start with a lottery.....I'm all for lotteries, just completely against one funding a function of govt. Read a few years ago after lottery revenue had diminished drastically, that Florida spent over 60% of lottery revenue, in the year this article was written, on advertising the lottery.....when govt is begging the public to gamble to support a function of govt then something is terribly wrong.

When govt creates a lottery to fund education, they don't add that additional new lottery revenue to the current monies already in the education budget, THEY REPLACE THOSE PREVIOUSLY EARMARKED MONIES WITH LOTTERY REVENUE, IT NOW BECOMING THE SOURCE OF EDUCATION MONIES, WITH THE OTHER PREVIOUSLY EAR MARKED MONIES GOING BACK INTO THE GENERAL FUND. In other words, the lottery perpetuates govt malfeasance by throwing fuel on the fire.

That's exactly what happened in Kentucky when they started a lottery. They advertsed that the lottery money would go into the education fund and we voted for it. I lived there when that happened (in the '80s). They took the lottery money and put it into the education fund; however, they cut money in the education fund by the same amount. It kind of pissed everyone I knew off when that happened.

Then I moved to Georgia and when the lottery went to a vote, I was completely against it thinking Georgia would do the same thing (lived there in the early '90s). However, Georgia did it right. They created the Hope Scholarship which was used to pay for HS students going to a state-sponsored college, as long as they had a 3.0 average out of HS and maintained it (at least I think that's the average). Then they found out they had extra money coming in from the lottery and used it to pay for books for college students (when I left it was $100 per semester for books).

So, I've seen one state do it right and one state do it wrong. Not sure if Kentucky ever changed or not.

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You

With your statement, apparently you aren't aware of all the industries leaving other parts of the country and setting up shop in the south because what you said is the exact opposite of the truth

Let me see some numbers.

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Let me see some numbers.

I'm not going to look for links to support my statement......I'm right, trust me but I don't need to win an argument to validate what I know to be the truth

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If anything, the Southern states need to pour money into education. The biggest reason big business won't relocate here is because they see our people as being too stupid to work technical jobs, and a lot of that comes from our backward educational system.

Safety has become the biggest problem. Only the teachers that quit will tell you that though

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That's exactly what happened in Kentucky when they started a lottery. They advertsed that the lottery money would go into the education fund and we voted for it. I lived there when that happened (in the '80s). They took the lottery money and put it into the education fund; however, they cut money in the education fund by the same amount. It kind of pissed everyone I knew off when that happened.

Then I moved to Georgia and when the lottery went to a vote, I was completely against it thinking Georgia would do the same thing (lived there in the early '90s). However, Georgia did it right. They created the Hope Scholarship which was used to pay for HS students going to a state-sponsored college, as long as they had a 3.0 average out of HS and maintained it (at least I think that's the average). Then they found out they had extra money coming in from the lottery and used it to pay for books for college students (when I left it was $100 per semester for books).

So, I've seen one state do it right and one state do it wrong. Not sure if Kentucky ever changed or not.

HOPE paid my way through UGA

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I always thought they were just a terrorist sleeper cell. Add a hyphen an all of a sudden it looks rather suspicious "Al-Abama" which is Arabic for "the Abama" Case closed.

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