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smokeyone

basic man rules. things every man should know and live by

186 posts in this topic

So we are in the off season and have moved from just football to man hang out. So what better way to move into the man cave mindset than a discussion of man rules.

If you are wearing skinny pants you misunderstood the concept of getting in her pants

Sweat pants are gym and house clothes not public

You will never escape the friend zone but you can bang all her friends

Jealousy and pettiness with an ex is a reflection on you not them

The only thing lamer than some dude whining on social media is being the guy whining on social media

No matter how awesome her p hole is remember you can't get a dime for it at a pawn shop

Don't put any part of your body where you wouldn't put your nose. If it don't look or smell right, it ain't right.

If you ain't dating her don't buy her jewelry EVER

There is a huge difference between being broke and being poor

Boobs over ass, you should motorboat an ass

What else you got?

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Don't put on a man's shoes unless you are prepared to walk a mile in 'em.

When you give your word, move heaven and earth to abide by it.

All women have snakes in their head. Find the poison you can live with and live with it.

Don't eat yellow snow.

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Don't carry a higher denomination than ones into a strip club. Even the ugliest "dancers" make big bank. Make them earn YOUR money- hell, you had to earn it. And, for God's sake, don't buy them drinks. Do you get free alcohol where you work? I'm there to get my buzz on and see titties, not find a date.

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Don't carry a higher denomination than ones into a strip club. Even the ugliest "dancers" make big bank. Make them earn YOUR money- hell, you had to earn it. And, for God's sake, don't buy them drinks. Do you get free alcohol where you work? I'm there to get my buzz on and see titties, not find a date.

Post of the year. Well said mr fatner

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Change your own oil...buy some power tools..

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When driving by a golf course... lay on the horn if someone is swinging a club..

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Throw your dip on cars that are illegally parked in handicap spots...don't dip?..start!!

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Assume any man wearing pink ,purple or skinny jeans is gay.

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I know the spirit of this thread is to post your own stuff, but it reminded me of a site many are probably familiar with. If not, you should be.

www.artofmanliness.com

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Always wear sunglasses. You never know if a hot chick is gonna walk by and you don't want your wife/fiancee/gf to see you eye lanekiffin.gifing a stranger.

If she gives you two choices and asks for your opinion, pick the one you like the least, she will end up getting the other.

Don't nut in a girls hair.

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My man advise:

Learn to use and identify tools. ESPECIALLY A MULTIMETER.

Don't overcharge an auto A/C unless frostbite turns you on

Never braze a copper pipe while you're laying underneath it unless you got coveralls or a pair of welding gloves on your chest

Always step on rafters or a platform when you're in an attic

Don't ever use your phone next to a gravity bong, it will find its way in there somehow.

Most importantly, if you need to eyeball weed quantities, its two fingers for a quarter three for a half.

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I have a question. WHY would you buy jewelry for a woman you AREN'T dating?

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Don't eat boogers,especially on national tv.

unless you're jimmy cheek.
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I have a question. WHY would you buy jewelry for a woman you AREN'T dating?

Because guys are always lost in the friend zone and don't want to acknowledge it.

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unless you're jimmy cheek.

Who the heck is jimmy cheek?

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Who the heck is jimmy cheek?

ut Chancellor, he was filmed digging and eating.....at a bball game.Google it
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