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RamboMizzou

Haha, All You Brave Fans....

86 posts in this topic

I seen a bunch of Braves fans on here and they are the bitchiest of bitches when it comes to October.

But, every year there is so much trash talk from them.... All I gotta say is...

im_a_shark_cat.jpg

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Oh god, you have no idea what you just did... Hornets nest officially kicked

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I might just write a :lanekiffin:ing 10 page rant now brb

Bring it Pussayyyyy.

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somebody got into their daddy's liquor cabinet

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Oh you got it coming now, bitch, you don't lanekiffin.gif with my lanekiffin.gifing braves

/rant

The Cardinals are lanekiffin.gifing awful. They are Tim Tebow in baseball organization form. They are a church casserole made out of cream of mushroom soup and Minute Rice. They are a horrible family staring at a Norman Rockwell painting of itself. It's no coincidence that sabermetric punching bag David Eckstein spent a few years playing for the Cardinals, because no team in any sport puffs up its grittiness credentials quite like this one.

I don't trust any fanbase that brands itself as being the "best fans in baseball" , nor do I trust any organization that has a way named after it. I love some of ya'll mizzou fans, but I can tell that every lanekiffin.gifing october they morph into an eight-year-old wearing a propeller beanie and shooting marbles on the living room floor. GOLLY GEE GUYS ISN'T CARDINALS BASEBALL JUST THE BESTEST?!

And whenever any of us talk any sort of lanekiffin.gifing trash about y'all you always come out and say"Aw, jeepers, why would you say bad things about my beloved Cardinals? We're just a group of cute little puppies with bows on our heads (bats eyelashes)!" It's just unfathomable to them that you would dislike them. They do things the right way! How could you not appreciate that? BARF.

The Cardinals are a giant sucking red hole of good old-fashioned Midwestern piousness, with a fanbase that does "classy" things specifically so that it can humblebrag about doing classy things.

Whenever you win a lanekiffin.gifing series you are just like "Thanks for the good series, you played your little hearts out!" lanekiffin.gif YOU. I think Yankees fans are horrible people: selfish, arrogant, profane, and miserable all at once. But at least they don't attempt to hide their repulsiveness. At least there isn't this deliberate, "Oh, we're not like those OTHER fans" fakeness that OOZES from the Cardinals and their acolytes. Wanna know who you really are, Cardinals fans? You are this. You are poorly disguised Yankees fans in ugly Christmas sweaters carrying a Jell-O mold to your neighbor's door. And your constant attempts to turn every October into an extended production of Our Town makes me want to hang myself with a extension cord.

St. Louis, the town, is a lanekiffin.gifing dump. It's not some magical heartland paradise filled with rainbows and lanekiffin.gifing butterflies. It's a s--thole. It's just as troubled and uncivilized as the rest of the country. The Cardinals are a desperate attempt to polish that turd for all it's worth, and I've seen enough of them for this lifetime and the next. LOSE. LOSE BADLY.

/endrant

8/10 quality rant with plenty of kiffin heads... I got some good laughs too lol

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8/10 quality rant with plenty of kiffin heads... I got some good laughs too lol

I haven't written one of these since my joegator rant, it feels good man, it feels good.

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I haven't written one of these since my joegator rant, it feels good man, it feels good.

Lol @ Humbleburg

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Oh you got it coming now, bitch, you don't lanekiffin.gif with my lanekiffin.gifing braves

/rant

The Cardinals are lanekiffin.gifing awful. They are Tim Tebow in baseball organization form. They are a church casserole made out of cream of mushroom soup and Minute Rice. They are a horrible family staring at a Norman Rockwell painting of itself. It's no coincidence that sabermetric punching bag David Eckstein spent a few years playing for the Cardinals, because no team in any sport puffs up its grittiness credentials quite like this one.

I don't trust any fanbase that brands itself as being the "best fans in baseball" , nor do I trust any organization that has a way named after it. I love some of ya'll mizzou fans, but I can tell that every lanekiffin.gifing october they morph into an eight-year-old wearing a propeller beanie and shooting marbles on the living room floor. GOLLY GEE GUYS ISN'T CARDINALS BASEBALL JUST THE BESTEST?!

And whenever any of us talk any sort of lanekiffin.gifing trash about y'all you always come out and say"Aw, jeepers, why would you say bad things about my beloved Cardinals? We're just a group of cute little puppies with bows on our heads (bats eyelashes)!" It's just unfathomable to them that you would dislike them. They do things the right way! How could you not appreciate that? BARF.

The Cardinals are a giant sucking red hole of good old-fashioned Midwestern piousness, with a fanbase that does "classy" things specifically so that it can humblebrag about doing classy things.

Whenever you win a lanekiffin.gifing series you are just like "Thanks for the good series, you played your little hearts out!" lanekiffin.gif YOU. I think Yankees fans are horrible people: selfish, arrogant, profane, and miserable all at once. But at least they don't attempt to hide their repulsiveness. At least there isn't this deliberate, "Oh, we're not like those OTHER fans" fakeness that OOZES from the Cardinals and their acolytes. Wanna know who you really are, Cardinals fans? You are this. You are poorly disguised Yankees fans in ugly Christmas sweaters carrying a Jell-O mold to your neighbor's door. And your constant attempts to turn every October into an extended production of Our Town makes me want to hang myself with a extension cord.

St. Louis, the town, is a lanekiffin.gifing dump. It's not some magical heartland paradise filled with rainbows and lanekiffin.gifing butterflies. It's a s--thole. It's just as troubled and uncivilized as the rest of the country. The Cardinals are a desperate attempt to polish that turd for all it's worth, and I've seen enough of them for this lifetime and the next. LOSE. LOSE BADLY.

/endrant

ONLY A FAN OF A TEAM THAT COULD HAVE THE BEST RECORD IN BASEBALL AND CAN'T FILL IT'S STADIUM HALF FULL WOULD SAY THIS.

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ONLY A FAN OF A TEAM THAT COULD HAVE THE BEST RECORD IN BASEBALL AND CAN'T FILL IT'S STADIUM HALF FULL WOULD SAY THIS.

I ALREADY HAVE A RANT PREPARED FOR THIS, BITCH,

WE HAVE A lanekiffin.gifING 60K FULL STADIUM, IT'S KINDA lanekiffin.gifING HARD TO FILL OUR STADIUM THAT FULL. AND WE AVERAGE OVER 60% ATTENDANCE, OVER 50% BITCH. DON'T MAKE ME WASTE MY TIME

:trollface: :trollface: :trollface: :trollface:

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lanekiffin.gif you s--t birds

Your team's greatest hero was a roid-guzzling fraud

(Musial doesn't count, none of us were alive in the 1500s when he played)

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Oh you got it coming now, bitch, you don't lanekiffin.gif with my lanekiffin.gifing braves

/rant

The Cardinals are lanekiffin.gifing awful. They are Tim Tebow in baseball organization form. They are a church casserole made out of cream of mushroom soup and Minute Rice. They are a horrible family staring at a Norman Rockwell painting of itself. It's no coincidence that sabermetric punching bag David Eckstein spent a few years playing for the Cardinals, because no team in any sport puffs up its grittiness credentials quite like this one.

I don't trust any fanbase that brands itself as being the "best fans in baseball" , nor do I trust any organization that has a way named after it. I love some of ya'll mizzou fans, but I can tell that every lanekiffin.gifing october they morph into an eight-year-old wearing a propeller beanie and shooting marbles on the living room floor. GOLLY GEE GUYS ISN'T CARDINALS BASEBALL JUST THE BESTEST?!

And whenever any of us talk any sort of lanekiffin.gifing trash about y'all you always come out and say"Aw, jeepers, why would you say bad things about my beloved Cardinals? We're just a group of cute little puppies with bows on our heads (bats eyelashes)!" It's just unfathomable to them that you would dislike them. They do things the right way! How could you not appreciate that? BARF.

The Cardinals are a giant sucking red hole of good old-fashioned Midwestern piousness, with a fanbase that does "classy" things specifically so that it can humblebrag about doing classy things.

Whenever you win a lanekiffin.gifing series you are just like "Thanks for the good series, you played your little hearts out!" lanekiffin.gif YOU. I think Yankees fans are horrible people: selfish, arrogant, profane, and miserable all at once. But at least they don't attempt to hide their repulsiveness. At least there isn't this deliberate, "Oh, we're not like those OTHER fans" fakeness that OOZES from the Cardinals and their acolytes. Wanna know who you really are, Cardinals fans? You are this. You are poorly disguised Yankees fans in ugly Christmas sweaters carrying a Jell-O mold to your neighbor's door. And your constant attempts to turn every October into an extended production of Our Town makes me want to hang myself with a extension cord.

St. Louis, the town, is a lanekiffin.gifing dump. It's not some magical heartland paradise filled with rainbows and lanekiffin.gifing butterflies. It's a s--thole. It's just as troubled and uncivilized as the rest of the country. The Cardinals are a desperate attempt to polish that turd for all it's worth, and I've seen enough of them for this lifetime and the next. LOSE. LOSE BADLY.

/endrant

shocked-cat-211211.jpg

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What most people don't realize is that the Braves are not a real Baseball team.It is in fact a training ground for MMA fighters for the choking arts.

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If there is one thing you can count on come October, its that the Braves will choke like a drunkin' bitch.

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